Friday, October 5, 2007

Bhaaji and stocks

A day in the life of a Bombay housewife.
6 am . The first bell rings. The doodhwaala is at the door. Already in a sitting position. Ready to spurt milk. Lady yawns in her bed, another freaking day, what a bhangaar life. Without brushing her teeth she walks up straight to the door. Opens the door, lady in gown, doodhwaala liking it, aah haa behen'ji. Lady opens dirty mouth. Bad smell in doodhwaala's face. Doodhwaala getting the hell outta here. Kitna liter? Lady says two, gets her milk, paani kum daalo kal se, she says. Doodhwaala says "arrey behen'ji , paani to hum kabhi nahi daalte". Freaking the same dialogue has been going on between housewives and doodhwaalas since the beginning of time. Somebody please give up !
10 am (After many many bell rings from gorkha, kaamwaali, istree waala, courier, and a little punk who just coming from his morning walk decides to play a prank to ring her bell and run away.Also, after making breakfast for her husband, nice omlettes with no grease,and seeing him off prim-n-proper ) finally she wakes up. Two things are of utmost priority. First making lunch. For herself. No, not for husband, husband typically has lunch outside, not like the good'ol days, nope. What a pain in the butt, cooking for yourself. That is the worst punishment. Second priority is check on the market. Not the bhaaji market. Stock market. Daily ups and downs are monitored just as the price of kaandaa batata. On one hand she is sitting on the floor saaree all rolled up to her thighs, peeling potatos and on the other hand she is making calls to her stock broker to buy Tata, sell Birla, kill Reliance. All the behemoths of the financial world are getting sold by gharwaalis daily. Saala public pareshaan. She probably makes a couple hundred and is happy about it one day and then loses a thousand the next. But hey, gives her something to talk about. Why can't she enjoy gambling. Roll on, sistaa.
Every hour is different. When I was a teenager, one dumbass told me that housewives get bored and are constantly horny for young teenagers. Thats bullshit. They've got the best lives ever. They are very happy. Let them be.
11 am, 12, 1, etc to follow....depending on shocking insights that I get.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

That's ridonkeydonkeylous!