Friday, August 29, 2008

Desi First Date...

I come across many a Desis' ideas of an IFD - Ideal First Date (on various educational and social networking websites. Ok fine Orkut, which I realize is reaching addiction levels now). Many Desi IFDs are directly dhaapofied from a ghisaa-pitaa western idea of a "date". Desi dudes and dudettes, but mostly dudes and many of them well into adulthood (trust me I check everything from age to marital status to profession to number of scraps and fans) romantically claim their IFD to be "a night on a beach, just the two of us, candle light dinner and fine wine". And I am wondering bhenchod tera baap baitha hain na tereko poora beach khaali karke dega? The millions of people getting some much-needed breathing space are simply going to vacate the beach for you or what? Moreover the beach havaa will wreak such a havoc that it'll bujhaao your candles even before you light them. The stink of machhi will penetrate your nostrils so stubbornly that no amount of fine wine smelling will get rid of it. The bhikari urchins will be standing around your table tugging on your date's mini-skirt (or worse, taking a good peek into it) asking for a bite of that gourmet misal-paav crying "de de maai de de, bhagwaan tera bhalaa karega, chaddi kheechu kya teri?". And how does this candle light fit into the whole Desi thing? The only times we've had candle light dinners was when there was a power outage in the society.
Huh, chala muraari romance karne, cha-maaila!

Friday, August 22, 2008

iPhone in India

So finally the iPhone has arrived in India. I have been following launches in a few countries since the past few months. Most of the launches had some music and some celebrity appearance and a tiny little interview with the first iPhone customer in that country. But nothing beats this video of the launch in India. They have cheerleaders (a new phenomenon courtesy IPL Cricket where, hired girls, after travelling in jam-packed trains from lower middle class neighbourhoods of Dombivli and Thane, initially cheerled in golden sarees and punjabi dresses but soon complaints were filed and were quickly moved to wearing Shiamak Davar type dresses and pom poms. Not sure about the saree part, but what the heck , I would pay big money to see saree clad cheerleaders). Back to the main story. This first iPhone customer in India was an unexpectedly funny guy. He totally cracked me up. First when he dances with the cheerleaders in a fulltoo gaavti style and the cheerleaders totally don't acknowledge his presence. He tries to mimic the cheerleaders and also makes pom pom style motions with his fingers. Next when he poses with the iPhone as if he is posing at his wedding. But the killer move is when he talks. And boy he talks. Its his moment of fame and he makes the most out of it. His smile, his grace, his innuendos, marshallah, mar jaavaa! The final punch comes at the end when asked what will he do with the iPhone tonight. He replies he intends to spend some quality time with the iPhone in a place where he gets some privacy and freedom from his nagging wife - the toilet!

p.s. The ambience is a little noisy - Mumbai hain baap - so be patient, turn the volume up and you will be rewarded.