Saturday, August 25, 2007

Things that make you gay

One poor desi intern working for us was shocked when an American friend of his called him gay. He didn't understad why he was declared as gay - he religiously leches at girls from his apartment window and performs all other normal activities that a hot blooded, moustached, penniless, intelligent Tamilian scavenging desi buffets and writing software like mad should be doing. The reason he was called gay was because he enjoys classical music. He came up to me with a heavy heart and an open mind. He wanted to get rid of all those things that made him gay. He wanted to be a man's man. I explained to him the concept of "gay" in this country. Just desiring women will not cure you of your gayness. You have to be very careful of the subtle things you do that can make you gay. I gave him a few tips which I am presenting here for all the desi men who like women but are considered gay.
You *are* gay in the US if you.....
...are desi.
...don't live in Texas.
...listen to classical music or Britney Spears or Justin Timberlake and the likes.
...drive a hybrid vehicle or a honda or toyota (pickup trucks excluded)
...care about world peace.
...care about global warming or greenhouse effect.
...own an iPod Shuffle instead of the real iPod.
...can complete a sentence without fumbling for words.
...have a good vocabulary.
...don't fart or scratch your butt.
...respect womenkind.
...like wine.
...hate beer.
...don't smoke.
...play cricket or baseball.
...walk shoulder-in-shoulder with another guy (thanks anonymous poster)
...participate in Antakshari.
...riding double seat on a motor bike with another guy (thanks anonymous poster). I understand in India you were used to the warm comfortabe feeling of being behind another guy but here, don't do it.
more to come....


Anonymous said...

Biggest one -- put your hand on another man's shoulder

Anonymous said...

..meant to complete it with.. and walk in public, saying "kya yaar, kaisa chal raha hai .."

Anonymous said...

another big one is riding at the back of another guy on a motorbike...yeh dosti,hum nahi todenge..sab gaya paani pe

Sonam said...

another one:

writing pointless blogs!


Sarah said...

This is great info to know.